The Comfort of Character

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

I discovered a new way to look at character today. What if character is simply: the ability to learn something new?

The humility to admit you don't know how to and then the courage to go learn to do that thing the way it is meant to be?

What if character is simply the ability and willingness to learn something? Owning your life in such a way that if you can't do something, rather than pretend you can or ignore it entirely, you found out how to do it actually?

What if the hope promised to you and me is the result of knowing how to do something? That feeling of deep peace because you know how to proceed. No more confusion or anxiety because you have learned how to do it. Hope, then, could be knowing that you have built the infrastructure needed to succeed. You have been willing to grow and learn how to do hard things.

Astronaut Jeremy Hansen says,

"We need to be able to fail and fail again, knowing in the end that we will succeed.'"

This is the character piece. Character is built when we are willing to have the humility to allow ourselves to go through the suffering without giving up and quitting until we have learned how do overcome the thing that first caused the suffering.

Steve Backlund of Igniting Hope Ministries says,

"The unexpected often brings unprecedented breakthrough."

What if we lived our lives this way? Looking at pain as opportunities to grow the character we need?

It reminds me of when I was in labor with my second child. After the first I'd learned a few things and one of them was to embrace the suffering and reframe it as an opportunity to go deep into me. As each contraction came to me, I went deep and embraced it as a welcome friend there to help me release the brand new LIFE I was releasing. Once I understood this reality, my labor felt painless even though it wasn't at all, however, because of the hope that was released in me as I became one with my suffering, I began partnering with each contraction joyfully. It was a beautiful birth experience for me and so different from my first when I held on so tight trying to resist the pain, an epidural was the only thing that brought me the ability to relax into the suffering. I hadn't yet learned how to embrace the pain that needed to be in order to bring forth the life in me.

This understanding is able to help me with so many things that have brought suffering. An example from my own life would be how I began to have many difficult situations hitting me simultaneously and unexpectedly with the same theme: difficult people disrespecting my boundaries and requiring hard conversations with me.

When these difficult conversations needed to happen, my only strategy had been to freeze or flee. But that wasn't working any more for me. This is the grace of God when He no longer lets you get away with staying immature or weak but orchestrates your life so where you must grow and this is a funnel of His love you see, this is character happening.

Because I know God always had a solution for me, I began to talk to the Lord, my councilor, friends, pastors, life coach, chat gpt, and look around me. As I began to receive council from so many sources carrying the information and experiences I needed to grow in this area of my life as well as plenty of learning opportunities. My job was simply to learn and practice. This is God's way of growing you and me and bringing us into maturity.

 "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth." John 1:14

The Word of God that we read must be worked out through our experiences and learning. It must be made flesh in you and me. This is character happening.

Your next solution could very well be lying in the hands of another human being. Ask God to show them to you and then reach out in faith knowing if you're wrong another person will come soon.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

One invaluable resources for me was when I discovered Jefferson Fisher. This man is an expert of hard conversations and how to use your words and presence powerfully. He was one of the many councilors and tools God began to equip and train me with in order to learn how to do hard conversations and handle difficult people correctly.

 ^"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety." Proverbs 11:14

I never thought I could learn how to do hard coversations well and love through rejection, but through giving myself the grace to fail and keep trying, I have begun to see that I can be the powerful person I want to be as I learn how to communicate effectively.

Have I figured it out yet and succeeded? No not really, I'm still learning and failing more than succeeding, but I have the satisfaction of knowing I'm growing and the sense of security that comes with gaining new tools and strategies.

Just knowing I am going somewhere finally and am no longer in freeze has given perspective to my suffering. I know understand that what's happening isn't actually about me personally but about what I am meant to be learning and who God is building me to be. I am becoming a powerful woman who knows how to love through rejection bringing peace and stability that comes from being grounded in my reality.

This is giving me so much hope which feels to me like the deepest level of joy and peace drowning out anxiety because I no longer have to freeze when I run into rejection or face difficult people being mean. I can now see it as an opportunity or a knot that needs untangling. A chance to practice the new set of tools, the new muscles I've been learning to use.

God's flow is always a constant stream of growth which means constant learning opportunities. Embracing the pain and allowing it to take me deep is now one of my best life strategies.

I've got hope now about all the hard, difficult, painful, unexpected and unexplained things. My hope is the knowledge that if I don't give up and keep going, God will always give me the character I need to overcome all things. It's all just learning the next lesson you see. Looking for a feast in presence of my enemies.

It's time for you and me to learn how to sit at the table and eat with our enemies, working through hard things, learning the tools we need to have the conversations that bring peace so that we can be a whole and healthy family.

"Confess and acknowledge how you have offended one another and then pray for one another to be instantly healed, for tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer!" James 5:16

It is attributed to Albert Einstein once have said:

"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."

This is the perseverance piece. The willingness not just to learn how to do something well but to fail repeatedly and yet continue to seek to improve knowing in the end you will succeed if you do not give up doing the next right thing.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galations 6:9

This is an opportunity to see pain and suffering differently. They are the birthing rooms for the LIFE you've always dreamed. The beautiful glorious truth is that it's not up to you to make character happen to you. It's simply your choice to choose whether or not to learn how to do something new so that you can overcome whatever is coming at you.

"Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:20-21

Once you say yes to the learning, you will see God says yes to you and gives you the way to walk, the path forward, the way through, He always comes with the training materials and tools. Don't loose heart for you are destined to succeed. All of Heaven is on your team. This is real life happening and hope is now yours to keep. The promise of unspeakable JOY in the suffering.

"He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name." Psalm 23:3

"How content you become when you weep with complete brokenness, for you will laugh with unrestrained joy." Luke 6:21

"looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2

Christ then, becomes the Faithful Shepherd we need, going after the pain in you and me so we can live fully alive and fully free.

"Now he comes closer, even to the places where I hide. He gazes into my soul, peering through the portal as he blossoms within my heart." Song of Songs 2:9

He didn't run from the pain and neither do we. He LEARNED through the suffering and so can we.

"Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered." Hebrews 5:8

Character becomes the door you need into the more you are desiring. We can do this together, you and me, we need each other, we need a team, a family, a community of others all willing to take responsibility and start learning how to do the hard things. Let us begin, you and me, and start learning something new today.

Let's make goals so we can see where it is we are going. Let's take the time to map out our strategy and ask our Father what the first step will be. Let's start walking that path as a team. Find someone to walk with you and if you'd like to walk with me, let's meet! Send me a message or book a meeting. (jessiemossministries@outlook.com)

Lord, I pray to the one who is listening, give them the courage they need to start growing the character they need. Even today as they move forward in these things fill them I pray with Your HOPE until they are abounding in joy and peace. Thank You, Father, for hearing me!